3 Unbreakable Commandments In The Daughter-In-Law Curse

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The same recipe, yet not as good as my mother-in-law's blueberry cheesecake...

“Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.” Voltaire

My time will eventually come when I am a mother-in-law.  The difficulty of being a good mother-in-law is by nature problematic.  Yet, in the process of being a daughter-in-law and a mother, I’ve learned a few things about the unbreakable curse.

Here are my favorite three commandments:

1. There are specific foods made by “Mom” that are holy, and a daughter-in-law shall never come close to preparing it correctly.  New wives, you may as well give it up from the beginning as I did after the first year of marriage.  Make your own recipes, but don’t try to recreate his favorite foods made by his mother.  Today, my husband asked for his mother’s blueberry cheesecake.  I know it does not taste like hers, but just to appease him, I did prepare it.  It is one of my least favorite things to do, but if I remind myself of the first commandment in the daughter-in-law curse, I can do it with joy.

2. “In sickness and in health” is a promise a wife makes that will never match a mother’s private commitment.  When at first you find your husband truly sick, there’s not much of anything that you can do to match what his mother did for him when he was sick.  If you provide too much attention, you should have left him alone as his mother would have done.  If you don’t notice that he is sick, you are not in tune with his needs.  A wife is not a mother, and that is that.

3. A woman who marries a man that adores his mother has found a valuable diamond.  The third commandment is actually a blessing rather than a curse.  Because my husband loves his mother so dearly, he also loves me with a great intensity.  As I knew from the first time I met my husband, he cares for me as a woman.  This love he shows to me is a direct result of his wonderful relationship with his own mother.

Now to my future daughter-in-law, whomever you may be, I extend to you the Three Unbreakable Commandments in the Daughter-in-Law Curse.  May you find a true treasure in my son as I have found in my own husband.  Please love me for it, and ignore the bad parts of the curse.  It is not my intention to cause trouble, it is just a part of these unbreakable commandments.

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6 responses »

  1. Thanks, Claudia, for the good advice. I experienced some of the same things with my husband and mother-in-law. Very timely advice since I will soon have a daughter-in-law!!

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